Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Deep Tunnels (a struggle of my young adult life)

There are times when I feel despondent and helpless that I don’t want to go on anymore. All I have is me which always in uncertainty of what will come next and what will future bring. Always in soliloquy as I gaze upon the stars which melts my wandering heart. Music sometimes eases the thirst of harmony although having a clairvoyant side, the future that I cannot guess. This woman in me doesn’t know all the answers life is throwing me; neither are those people who have the same shoes as young adults. Sometimes I feel strangulated by my unrequited choices; consequently leading towards confusion and emotional conflicts. Fraying desires and wishes flung into my ego and eats me at times. Being caged by other people’s voices, “Blah…Blah…Blah…Do this! Do that!” Mute is a bird who can’t even hear her voice or whoever it is. The hapless side is when nobody cares.

The mirror spoke upon me but my eyes whimpers how I am looking at myself. There are times when I submerge into this deep tunnel inside of me; the place where I hide my agonies and fears. Do people love that one in the mirror? How about that one in the inside? Interminably thinking that I don’t care and caring for them would be useless. Would they do the same? Feigning disappointments and unyielding hopes always cut me to the quick. Who am I doesn’t makes the world stop.

-Flordeliz A. Fullo

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