Friday, February 18, 2011

My Irrational Fear of the Dark and its Effects on my Behavior

Since I was a child, I have this irrational fear of sleeping at night with lights off and until now my parents were complaining about conserving bills. As a school aged girl, deep within me was a very wild, vast and vivid imagination that I always found absence of artificial lights at night a very uncomfortable feeling followed by waking up at night from nightmares with the sight of those curtains in almost human form which aggravates it more. It’s a neurotic side of me that exist till now. As a nurse with some knowledge of basic Psychology, I would say that maybe I have this s called Separation Anxiety or other anxiety related issues in my past. Examining my psychological self would reveal a person who finds it very fearful of changes especially to the behavior and relationship from people whom I love and cares for. Based on some Psychological Theories relating from my past experiences, this irrational fear started when I was at my Phallic and Latent stages or School age to Puberty from hearing horror and ghost stories and believing that spirits rambles at night thus creating a regression relating to why I always act childish and preposterously temperamental in times of stressful situations. Those imaginary specters may be associated with my fear of independence and being left behind thus also be connected with my anxiety of trusting and talking to people sometimes which tackles my mild eccentricity that I still have no romantic relationships until now. My lack of confidence way back adolescence feeling afraid to show the world the real me and what I want is like being anxious that a ghost may appear in my sight anytime and hurt me.
Childhood and adolescent experiences makes who an adult could be in the future whether it may be good or bad.

-Flordeliz Fullo

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