Friday, March 01, 2013

How to overcome bitterness from a heart break?

As human beings, each one of us experienced romantic love, a love felt for a certain special person of the opposite sex or even the same with attraction and inexplicable reasons. There are sub feelings relating into it, the main one is the happiness. Whenever we are with our special someone, we feel secured, happy, excited, twisted, and even his/her slightest look could make us berserk. But not all love stories are requited and blissful at all. In reality, people with mutual love for each other are very lucky but how about those whom experiencing one-sided love, breakups, death or loss of a partner? To feel love is to endure also the pain. They said that love was not true if you do not feel any pain relating to it. Some pain could last an amount of time but some strong people cope up and move on easily, I could say it depends on the psychological strength of a person.

How to overcome bitterness when you are stagnant and feels like you can’t even know how to stop yourself from feeling the pain?


Here are some of my personal tips:


1. Talk to God and reflect on His words. Praying might sound boring for some modern day youth but it is God who knows the real purpose of the pain and if you communicate with Him, your burdens will lessen. He knows what is best for us. Reading the scriptures could also help. Whatever religion or faith each of one does have, for sure our sacred books contain texts related to love and moving forward, we just have to keep them by heart.


2. Make yourself busy. Being busy with things you like or would like could help lessen excessive thinking that could make you unmoved with those heavy emotions. Putting up your mindset into useful channels could also make you productive as well. Doing simple household chores, going out with friends or grooming a pet are examples.


3. Try something new. New things would also make you forget painful things little by little as you began to explore the world around you. Having a new look and hairdo, new book to read and new hobbies are such good examples. The world is so huge and life is short, there are no reasons not to explore and enjoy.


4. Write. Not all of us loves pen and paper or blogging but whenever you're stressed or have no one to talk to, you can have your own diary to open up all unwanted emotions you feel or at least make a blog post of a poem or essay but be sure to take care whenever you post something personal on the internet. One day, when you have already recovered, read them again and definitely, you will smile or laugh.


5. Meet new people. There are millions of fishes in the sea, so why focus on one that is already caught, dead or swam away? Making new friends makes you feel comfortable and have fun. There are online dating sites out there or even friends of friends, you can meet people whom you have similar interests with like in a book club if you love books or fans club if you were having the same favorite celebrities. Organizations for a cause also provides more exposure to different people. Please do beware or take care because we do not know them so we have to secure ourselves in meeting new friends.


6. Forget the past and cherish the present. It is true that forgetting painful heartaches takes a lot of time but we have to let go even those good memories associated with them if they would just make us feel unhappy knowing the reality that they would never ever be the same again or come back. If we live in the shadows of the past, our lives will not move forward causing our lives to be dull and chained. We should make the best our present lives because our future would depend on what we do today.


7. Forgive someone who caused you pain as well as yourself. In forgiving someone, you are also releasing your inner conflicts with yourself. Anger is unhealthy and would cause us to be bitter, hate the world and not trust other people. We live in an imperfect world; we may never fully forget what they have done, at least in our hearts, all that hatred will be washed away. Forgiving ourselves is also fundamental in a sense that how could be forgive the person, the situation if we cannot forgive our own selves? There are plenty of time to start again and to become stronger and wiser, we just have to think that things have already happened and we cannot go back to that time and situation anymore. -faf


  1. It took a year and a little more to get over the bitterness from my first breakup, because it didn't made sense to me. Being a logical person, I always find answers to my questions. I did everything and the last thing was your #1 on the list.. and that took every negative thoughts/emotions away. Now I'm living my life in a way I never thought I would. :">

    It's just a bonus that I got my questions answered recently :)

    1. Yeah. God has reasons. We may never understand at first but later on, He will reveal His own purpose :)

  2. Good thing I did all 7 of them. Heartbreak is an odd kind of pain.. you're not dying, you're not even sick, but it hurts so much. It's just sad how one can be so consumed by their sadness, heartbreak,bitterness... the only way to go is moving on.

    1. Yes. In the end, we ave no choice but to be strong and keep moving forward :)

  3. When I experienced a major heartache, I did a lot of things to overcome sadness and move on. I changed my number, moved to a new apartment, applied for a new job, etc. It was really hard but all worth it! :)

  4. Awww, I remember my previous heartbreak and it was really hard for me to move on. So instead of sulking, I traveled and had a good time instead :)