Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Heartbreak and Forgiveness


“It’s not an easy journey, to get to place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.” – Tyler Perry

To forgive someone who broke your heart is not an easy thing to do. No matter what the grounds like betrayal, rejection or deceit. Being emotionally hurt is a human nature we could not help to undergo. Freeing ourselves from hatred is arduous hence; we should not allow ourselves to be contained by our wounds. Letting unwanted emotions stay in our hearts will block away happiness like living in darkness. A person who cannot forgive is a prisoner of his anger. To genuinely forgive is not something that could be done overnight. A process that involves time and a choice to help yourself along the way.

I have experience being hurt by people I trust and love. It is an inevitable common occurrence in our social relationships as humans. At first, we find it difficult to forgive as the extent of pain they caused shattered us badly. There were times when I never thought that I would forgive those people someday. Time heals. You do not have to force it. One day, the wounds will heal until you realize to be ready to start again by unleashing the troubles in your past.

Do not let the scars of the past turn you into a miserable person. Release the weight of loathing in your heart so you can feel the beauty of life. There were no definite steps on how to forgive. It all depends on you. Here are some of my advices that may guide you.

 FORGIVE YOURSELF: How can you forgive people if you do not forgive yourself first? It should all start within you. To let go, release all that guilt and anguish in your heart. Throw away that heavy emotional baggage you were carrying for so long. Push yourself to move forward and always reflect upon your thoughts. To give forgiveness, healing of one’s own self must be there.

 DO NOT DWELL IN THE PAST: As much as possible, refrain from reminiscing the situation that pained you. No one can bring back what already happened. There is no sense in hanging in those painful memories. Life goes on and only you can write your own story but take with you the lessons it taught you.

DO NOT REGRET:  Disappointments caused by having your heart broken by someone you love makes you regret that you gave all your trust and invest your feelings to that person. In the first place, you never thought that you would be hurt in the end. This would cause you to have a remorse. Instead, think that all situations we had and people we met have significant reasons they play in our lives. Some of them may be there to teach us.

LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE: Sometimes we consume ourselves with resentment that we only see the bad things a person have done to us. This is a challenging thing to do but trying to look at the good side of that person as well as the things and memories he/she had with us that once made us happy may lessen the hatred we feel. This way, we may come to rationalize their actions, be it intentional or not. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect so if you can, give even the slightest consideration to understand.

 Forgiveness is a long process. Only we could have the decision to give it or just let it be. People who know how to forgive possesses inner peace because they have freedom from the pain of the past. It does not mean that when you forgive, you forget all that happened. In turn, those lessons you had make you wise. You may forgive without talking again to someone who hurt you or reconstruct a broken relationship. It is all about being at peace with yourself.



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